I'm not making this up.......A divorced Taylorsville, NC woman thought she was going into an ordinary custody hearing. When the judge found out that she was currently living with her boyfriend, he charged them with adultery under an 1805 criminal statute. The judge was "appalled" that such behavior was going on. (Where has he been for, oh, the last 25 years?) A state senator from NC admitted that the law was "outdated" but to eliminate it would be to "condone" such behavior.

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by joe bloggs on Aug 19, 2001 ---</FONT></center>

i don't quite understand this (but then again, what DO I understand??), but lately people have been coming up to me, and telling me that they hope I get my ass elected to the white house!!!! and I have to tell them, I ain't done sittin' on it yet!!!!!!

I wanna run for mayor of L.A..

-Z
vote for me

---Confused Gnus and Views----
"all the gnus that gives people fits"
****Special Editorial Edition****

The world is really fucked up now.
It will get more fucked up before it gets less fucked up. Be patient, stay tuned, and keep the faith.

----Confused Gnus and Views-----
"all the gnus that gives people fits"
*** Letters to the Editor edition***

The following letter was not actually sent to CG&V directly, but forwarded to us by Kitty West:

Dear Al Gore,

It seems that we have found more votes from the last election, and we have determined that you did in fact win the presidential election. When would you like to take over?
Sincerely, George W. Bush

---Confused Gnus and Views---
"all the gnus that gives people fits"

Only in America could we develop the drive-thru funeral home.
From the AP :

(Maplewood N.J) An ailing elderly man apparently drove himself to a funeral home and then died in his car, authorities said.
Harold Saber,80,of Verona, had not been feeling well Friday night and left his home early saturday relatives said. He then drove to the Bernheim-Apter-Goldsticker Suburban Funeral Home in Maplewood, where he was pronounced dead a short time later.
When he was discovered missing, relatives told authorities that Saber had often said he would take himself to a funeral home "when it was his time". The nature of Saber's ailment was not immediately known.
-----------------------------------------
Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction...huh?

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Larry on Nov 07, 2001 ---</FONT></center>

An Italian woman is due to give birth in a hospital in Rome this week to a baby girl - before returning three months later to have triplets.
If both deliveries are successful, it is thought that this will be the first such case in history

First of all, I had nothing to do with this, and I think this should be enough to get into the honorary blunderite club.

---Confused Gnus and Views----
**** Special Holiday Edition*****

We here at CG&V have sent our crack staff out to the malls of America this holiday season to report on what gifts holiday items are still available in abundance. They have compiled the following list:

1)Burka Barbi
2) The Pat Boone heavy metal album.
3)All the other Pat Boone albums.
4)The Taliban action figures play set.
5)Velvet wall hangings of Osama Bib Laden.
6)Tickle me Arafat/Sharon dolls.

And from the book section:

1) Mein Kampf - by John Ashcroft
2)The Chief Executives Guide to Picking up Babes - by Bill Clinton
3)Thanks Dad!- by George W. Bush
4) Thanks Jeb! - by George W. Bush

Any more news on that woman in Rome?

I read that she gave birth to a little girl on or about Nov. 18th. She weighed just under 4 lbs but doing fine. She's still pregnant awaiting the birth of the other 3, reported to be a girl and two boys. Which reminds me of a story I once heard about a man who was having an affair with his secretary. After the secretary told the man that she was pregnant, he gave her some money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "How can I let you know the baby is born?" He said, "Just send me a postcard and write the word "spaghetti" on it and I'll know." The pregnant secretary took the money and flew to Italy. Seven months later, the man receives a phone call from his wife saying, "Dear, you got a postcard in the mail from Italy, I don't understand what it means." "Don't worry, I'll explain when I get home" said the man. When the man got home and read the postcard, he immediately dropped to the floor in cardiac arrest. An ambulance was called and he was rushed to the emergency room. One of the head doctors tried to calm and comfort the wife. The doctor asked her what he was doing just before the heart attack. "He was just reading this postcard" as she pulled it out of her purse. "It just says... Spaghetti-Spaghetti-Spaghetti-Spaghetti. Two with sausage and meatballs and two without."

That's one way to do multiple births, I guess. No dummy, that woman: Have them in stages.
Sure. Why not? The behaviorial psychologists are going to have a field day with this one. I bet they can hear the jingle of grant money already ...

---Confused Gnus and Views----
****all the gnus that give people fits****

From the look what we noticed dept.:

NPR radio reported today that "Richard Reid", the would be shoe bomber that was overpowered by passengers and flight crew on an American Airlines flight, is due in court today to determine if he is a "flight risk", presumably for a bail hearing. "Flight risk"?....Oh brother! Ya gotta love the government...huh??? <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/confused.gif" width=15 height=22>

When Nixon gave his 'I am not a crook" speech, I was riding in a cab that had the radio on. I thought it was one of Rich Little's skits, or that other guy -- Mark Russell, is it? -- who made his living off of political satire.

It feels sort of like that. It should be from MAD tv, SNL, or even Jay Leno/David Letterman.

Shame that it's not. The legal system being what it is, I worry that he could slip through the cracks. You know that's got to be a part of the game plan, too -- using our laws and our system against us, just like regular American criminals and terrorists do.

Borrow trouble? (This topic is being borrowed from another thread, anyway.) You bet. I so hate not being able to give it back when I've had enough, thank you very much.

----Confused Gnus and Views----

*****GNUSFLASH!******

Reports are coming in that Geraldo Rivera has located Osama Bin Laden's hiding place. Geraldo reports that Osama is hiding in Al Capone's secret vault! Film at eleven....

Thank God we are now geting regular news reports once more, only Larry has the printed news that is fit to read.