**** Confused Gnus and Views****
"all the gnus that gives people fits"
****Special Business Edition...again****

Our crack editorial staff has been at it again, and compiled a list of some of the more promising new business ideas from the past year:

1) The Arlonet message boards "anti-brick wall helmet" concession.(Leading economists predict a fortune to be made in Maryland alone)
2)The George W. Bush "Dumb-O-Meter" introduced by "The Sharper Image" company this past year, a device that measures lack of intellect.
3)The Al Sharpton/David Duke dartboard.
4) A soon to be released book titled " I Can't Believe I'm Working for This Asshole", co-authored by Colin Powell and Dick Cheney.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Larry:

**** Confused Gnus and Views****
"all the gnus that gives people fits"
****Special Business Edition...again****

Our crack editorial staff has been at it again, and compiled a list of some of the more promising new business ideas from the past year:


2)The George W. Bush "Dumb-O-Meter" introduced by "The Sharper Image" company this past year, a device that measures lack of intellect.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


I doubt this will go over, as it would expose corporate CEO's for what they really are.

Dear Editor

I fear the cost of this newspaper is too high, if the goverment would only allow you to abuse your workers, take away their right to strike and reduce your costs of their work related injurys then maybe you could keep the cost down or at least fatten your pockets but do you think the Democrats are going to allow that? I don't think so, hell ever sense the Democrats won the election I have been so pissed off.....ahh wait a minute, ahh I see Geo. W. stole the election back heehee, as you were then, please disregard this letter

Another taxpayer raped by Geo. W.
(it is rape when you get screwed without your consent isn't it?)

****Confused Gnus and Views****
"all the gnus that gives people fits"
**** Special Bulletin from the "We stole this one dept." ***

The editors here at CG&V today saw a comic strip in another paper that went something like:

1st person says: "This heart problem that Dick Cheney is dealing with concerns me. Do you know what happens if he dies?"

2nd person replies " Yes! George W. Bush becomes president!"

Both people then get real worried looks on their faces at the same time.

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Larry on Mar 22, 2001 ---</FONT></center>

SUPER GRANNY DEFENDER OF JUSTICE(senior moments)
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and upon returning to her car,found four males in the act of leaving with her car.She dropped her bags and drew her handgun,proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice,"I have a gun and I know how to use it!Get out of the car you scumbags!!"
The four men didn,t wait for a second invitation but got out of the car and ran like mad,where upon the lady,somewhat shaken,proceeded to load her shopping into the back of the car and got in to the driver,s seat.She was shaking so,that she could not get the key in the ignition.She tried and tried,then it dawned on her why.
A few minutes later she found her own car parked four cars away,she loaded her bags into her own car and drove to the police station.
The sergeant on duty,to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter,and pointed to the other end of the counter,where four pale white males were reporting a car-jacking by a "mad elderly woman" described as" white,less then five foot tall,glasses,and curly white hair,carrying a large hand gun"....no charges were filed......aahh senior moments!

you go girl!

****Confused Gnus and Views****
"all the gnus that gives people fits"
----Special Report----

This just in to the gnus desk:

Reports have been confimed by an anonymous member of the Bush administration that Slobadon Milosivich has kidnapped Daryl Strawberry and the pair have been spotted aboard a United States spyplane that has been captured by the Chinese.

-----Confused Gnus and Views-----
"all the gnus that gives people fits"


The spyplane incident with China came to an end today so far as the 24 servicemen and women are concerned, in the regard that they are now back on American soil. Asked how this dimplomacy was achieved, President Bush said " There were some tough choices. The Chinese sent us a list of demands, and I had to pick one from column "A", and two from column "B".

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Larry on Apr 12, 2001 ---</FONT></center>

Did he get the eggroll or the crab rangoon with those picks ?

Buch got a fortune cookie from China, inside was yet another vote for Gore.

*****Confused Gnus and Views*****
"all the gnus that gives people fits"
*-* Special Editorial Edition*-*

---The Rules of War---

Mankind, in it's infinate wisdom, has rules for everything, including war.
It is established fact, or at least concensus, that there are civil and human ways to kill each other, and to kill each other in nonprescribed ways is...well, less than civilized.
We feel it is time to take the next step.
We feel that all the worlds powers should sign a treaty that states that only the dumbest 5% of their populations be admitted to military academys around the globe. Think of it. What better built in deterrent, could there be beyond a completly stupid and incompetant milatary leadership ? I mean governments around the world would be afraid to start any conflict, for fear that their own armies would only hasten their own demise.Worldwide military blunders at every turn, could be our best hope for world peace. Besides, we are wasting to many smart people in milatary leadership roles anyway. I mean I'm sure we could find new jobs for all three of them after this treaty was signed.

so am I to understand you want Geo W Bush to join the military?

Dubya in the miltary? ROTFL!

Jeb Bush decides to burn the many many votes for Al Gore, which he had stolen...Major fires result

----Confused Gnus and Views----

****Scary or strange quote or thought of the day****

"Having Dan Quayle explain George W. Bush's thinking is like having a fly look through a kalidescope and explain what he sees".