This just in, A new speed bump in south georgia, some fellow from California was passing by and stopped at a local gas station, seeing the owners young wife behind the counter, the stranger asked the owner, "Is that your sister, your wife or is she both?"
Later in the day, the owner installed a new speed BUMP out on the state highway, the third one this month, when asked why, he replied, "It's them damn freeway exits, it lets those weirdos off the damn freeway."

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nathen:

This just in, A new speed bump in south georgia, some fellow from California was passing by and stopped at a local gas station, seeing the owners young wife behind the counter, the stranger asked the owner, "Is that your sister, your wife or is she both?"
Later in the day, the owner installed a new speed BUMP out on the state highway, the third one this month, when asked why, he replied, "It's them damn freeway exits, it lets those weirdos off the damn freeway."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Uh...Nathen, should that be speed BUMPER?

<img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/eek.gif" width=15 height=15>

I have been checking to see if the average IQ of Flordia has gone up in the last few days, however the results are being delayed due to a recount......So, Bumper is certainly in Florida or he is somewhere else at this time.

i'm beginning to think bumpy took a wrong turn at the florida turnpike... or walked into a southern Weight Watchers clinic thinkin' it was a grits and bits joint...

NATO Backs Bumper Enlargement...

Bumper reports that SO is alive and well in Florida. He survived all the speed BUMPS and grits pits along the way. He'll get his iMac out of storage in the next few days and then can defend himself here. (I would not attempt to do that!) In the meantime, he sends love & vibes and asks us to say he LOVES Florida.

Who or What is a Bumper?

I think perhaps I should contact the FBI regarding this attack upon Florida.

My life has gone to hell, my imaginary girlfriend has left me. She says she just noticed I have a turkey neck, I mean really, is that being shallow or what? Okay, I do have a turkey neck but does that mean I should go live in a cave?

So what does one do when they must give up a imaginary sex life, I ask that here because I am sure, others who read this topic must have had the problem many times, right Larry?

Where the hell is Bumper anyway?

If you can't be selectivly oblivious about imaginary things my son, how can you ever hope to be selectivly oblivious about real things?? Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Larry on Nov 29, 2002 ---</FONT></center>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Larry:

If you can't be selectivly oblivious about imaginary things my son, how can you ever hope to be selectivly oblivious about real things?? Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

But Larry this was the only woman who ever loved me

Ok my son, we shall try to help you. First, just to be absolutly sure which path of advice we shall offer to you,are you sure this was your imaginary girlfriend, or could it have perhaps been the inflatable one?
This is an important question, so please answer honestly.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Larry:

Ok my son, we shall try to help you. First, just to be absolutly sure which path of advice we shall offer to you,are you sure this was your imaginary girlfriend, or could it have perhaps been the inflatable one?
This is an important question, so please answer honestly.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh she was imaginary, I once had a blow up girlfriend but that relationship went flat.

No, this was true love, my imaginary girlfriend was perfect in every way, she even made cow sounds, but alas, that is all behind me, she just could not stand my turkey neck and she hated my imaginary cat as well, which confuses me more because she took the cat with her. I wonder if she ran off with Bumper, I mean they both have disappeared.

Now now, there there, Nathen, I'm here...
SO is counting the portholes on the sea-going deisel guzzler, passing under the Sunrise Blvd drawbridge, or the vertical teeth, on a magenta Hummer, at a traffic light, in Ft Laud...
I think your g/f just went out for a helium transplant, she'l be back, soon, have faith & try a
little tenderness, when she returns....
".....young girls do get weary, wearing that same old funky dress...
you gotta hold her, squeeze her, never leave her, you gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta try a little tenderness,...."

The wicked Mr W Picket

I'mm gonna be the guest washboard musician, w/ "Fire in The Kitchen", at Sally O'Brien's, @ Beach Place, Ft Laud, next week, move over, Chieftans!!!!! heheehehe

ok, "y'all" asked for it.......
"Great Southern Society and Tradition" is a myth. perpetrated by exploitive, extractive, insular, vacuous, incestuous English Gentry wannabes, for centuries...
Intellectual, cultural, culinary, and familial innovations and traditions came from the Choctaw, Catawba, Cherokee, Souix, Yoruba, Ashanti, Mandingue, Maasai and Caribb cultures, before they were either pressed into indentured servitude, or slaughtered, with survivors force marched to the desolate midwest plains, in the 18th & 19th centuries.
Whwn left to their own devises,, white Southern society, "creates" such gems as a bland imitation of Native American corn meal mush, i.e. grits, or, an obsessive love of watching overpowered plastic cars, festooned with corporate logos, going round and round, in circles, i.e, NASCAR...
oh, and, for all you "Bubbas".... the best and greatest use for your beloved Confederate flag, is as a seat cover, for your pick-em-up truck.....
As you can tell, I just love the "Old South", as a place to pass thru, on my way to, or from South FLA...
"y'all come back soon, ya heah???"...yea,right.......
"don't ask me nothin about nothin, I just might tell ya the truth"
B Dylan

wow, it's good to be blatting, again...heeheehee

Bumper, you really must learn that Florida is not a part of the south, it is retired New Yorkers and a few Cubans, you will not find a Southerner in the entire state.

Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi are the hot beds of Bubba and the like, then you have South and North Carolina, both hicksville.
Tennessee, Kentucky and West Virgina are mountain people, most are armed with a shotgun and a bible so beware of them, Virgina is but a whore to the Federal govenrment and they are a mixed lot at best.
Texas is a power unto it's self and perhaps is not even a part of America. So this has been your history lesson for today.
I will remind you that my lady love was not of the inflating kind, she had a wonderful ya-ya and excelent wo-wo and her yum yum could not be beat, but why am I telling you this? You stole her from me, didn't you?

Nathen, I do make the distinction, between south FLA, about at Orlando, and the rest of FLA, I really do...I promise I didn't steal Ms Whamo, though, as you descrobe her, she sounds very attraactive, in an elastic kinda way.. by the way, all Southern Blunderites, are not included in my diatribe, as they are all quite sentient....<img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/lookout.gif" width=15 height=15>