Terrie - you REALLY have been through a day of hell. If I was there, you sound like you need a big hug. The best you can do is to just be there (when you can), It's an emotionally draining, stressful time ... for everyone! Sometimes I think it's harder on the family -- to watch what's happening to someone we love. I learned (the hard way) that you MUST take care of yourself and remember that you still have your family to be there for ... as mom and wife. They are going thru this, too, and need you, too. It's hard to be pulled in so many directions. Please remember that there are so many that care about you but YOU have to care for YOU, too!! Prayers and positive vibes coming to Shillington!! Love ya!<img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/smile.gif" width=15 height=15>

What everyone esle has said, take care of your self and though it's hard when you are watching someone you love suffer in such a bad way try to remember all the happy times you had to gether.

And though I don't know the situation with your brother, it might just be that he is so scared of what is happening it might be the only way he can cope with it all, but still you should try to get him to help; even if it's just doing bits of food shopping or getting prscriptions and such.

Like others, I know how hard it is because I've been through it too, but do take care of your self and know that we are thinking of you all.
Bev and Alan

ed, for spelling

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by beverleyknowles on May 05, 2005 ---</FONT></center>

Thanks again. What's happening between my brother and me is that he has mean-mouthed me for decades, culminating in my husband finally standing up to it last year by refusing to go to his second wedding, and our oldest son's refusal to be an usher.

Marc has hated me for being a stay-at-home mother (as if it's any of his business) and has twisted everything and anything I say to his benefit to prove some kind of point.

We stopped speaking more than 15 months ago and had absolutely no contacct until Sunday. I tried to be civil. He is not having a hard time dealing with the impending death of a father he hardly knew. He has a hard time dealing with anything outside his own view of 'reality."

Ellen sent an email asking for our views on what kind of funeral we would want: religious, spiritual, graveside, funeral parlor, veterans. Dad is an atheist and Marc claimed to be also (of course I hadn't spoken to him in a long time, but that's what he always said). Marian is a non-practicing Catholic and Ellen's kids go to CCD. I am spiritual and did not raise my kids with any particular religion... bring your own God, I guess.

Anyway, in responding to Ellen's email, I outline why I vote for a non-religious graveside service. Marc wrote back that he basically agrees but here's the clincher: He re-initiated our old fighting by stating that this is why we fight, that he doesn't know why I would say something so stupid and on and on until I got so upset reading it!!

I responded that he's the one who said it and Ellen reminded him that I wasn't singling him out but merely outlining everyone's diverse beliefs.

This morning I got an even more scathing email from Marc telling me "You are (1) clueless as I never said that. I'm not religious...that doesn't make me an athiest. I never EVER said that. Where do you get this crap from? I beleive in God. You are also (2) classless as Ellen asked a simple question that only needed a simple answer. Why are you even bringing me up??? Who cares what I am? This is about dad. Not you. Not me. Get a grip and grow up. You are not happy unless you are the Queen Bee...and you will say and do anything to get there. It's sick. Staying out of this is the smartest thing you have ever said. Stay out of it if you can't be productive. Sorry to the rest as you do not need to read this BS at a time like this."

So you can see the tone of what's going on. He won't just leave well-enough alone and he won't even bother to help out. After all, Marian has 5 kids and if she wants to get out for an hour, HER kids should be helping her, it's not our problem!

More prayers said & vibes sent...

I am sorry things have to be that way, but hand on in there and do what you think best for you dad.

Vibes and prays
Bev and Alan

I drove down to Philly yesterday with a sleeping bag, pillow, several changes of clothes and my heart medications. Ellen was planning on staying overnight too. She had a 10 AM appointment today at the funeral parlor.

At 10:30 last night, Marian decided that she was too overwhelmed and that our being there overnight wasn't going to help her get any sleep anyway, since she'd be in bed with him when the attacks started and we'd never hear it anyway. So why should we stay?

Famous last words! Ellen stayed only because her appointment was in my father's area. I drove home late last night, getting in after midnight.

He died today around 12:30 PM.

Oh my. So sorry to hear about your dad. May God be with you & your family at this time & healing vibes... <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/peace.gif" width=16 height=16>

Terrie, I'm sending you and your family heart-healing vibes. Rest in the knowledge that you did everything you could.

Peace to you, and all your loved ones.

Sorry to hear the news. Thoughts and prayers with you and yours.

...may your father be in peace....
...may your and your family find peace and much support in your grief....
...you are all in my thoughts and prayers, Terrie....

I am so sorry to hear the news, but know that he is now at rest and know that you are in our thoughts.

Bev and Alan

So sorry to hear about your Dad. Vibes and prayers to all of you.

My sympathies to you & your family, Terrie.

Oh Terrie! I am so sorry to hear the news. I hope the good memories of your father will, in time, bring you comfort. Gentle hugs and prayers are on their way to you and your family.

It often happens that way. Peace.