Hello, everyone! Glad to see you're still here! Thanks so much for all your kind words of support and solidarity.

Haven't had a chance to wade through recent posts, but will soon, so as to get current with all happenings in Blunderland. The exception of course, being Todd's status, which I did see. Sucky news, that. <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/angryrazz.gif" width=15 height=15>

On a much, much lighter note: How lovely of the Guthries to drop by town for my birthday! A wonderful birthday present, indeed! Thank you, Guthries!! (Since I haven't gotten a birthday present in so many years, I'm appropriating this as being one, if that's quite all right. Arlo plays in Kingston the night <u>before</u> my actual birthday, but hey -- it's close enough.) Not that I'm likely to make it to the show, what with lacking transportation and the necessary funds to cover the price of a ticket. Still, it does give me a warm, fuzzy feeling just knowing that the G.'s will be in and around town next week. And who knows? With any luck, some Blundervibes may even rub off on the locals ...

And with a whole <u>LOT</u> of very good luck, Arlo and his family won't even get ripped off this time. For a change. (Well. Maybe not <u>too</u> badly, anyway. Sigh.) Hey: There's a first time for everything ... It could actually happen.

As for my soap opera of a personal life ... Let's see ... First, I'm happy to relate that I've been UN-evicted, at least for the time being.

Yes, someone actually came through and lent me the $150.00 I needed to keep from being pitched out into the street like so much litter. (No one from around here did that for me, but then, it practically goes without saying. Right? Right.)

Now, if only I could figure out how to get away from here permanently ... (I can keep dreaming of it, can't I?) Unfortunately, I really do have too much stuff and too little strength to just pick up and go, even if I had the wherewithall to do so (or had someplace to go, if I did).

Seriously -- for me it's very weird, being in a place where people are so caught up with appearances and image, that virtually no one looks beyond the surface. Maybe a couple of people have made it past their first impressions of me, but I'm sure I don't know who they are. I was pigeonholed when I moved up here, and pigeonholed I remain, no matter how much proof is offered to the contrary. Quite honestly, there isn't a single person who is a part of my everyday life, or who has any idea how I live.

Interestingly, people here <u>do</u> see the outward manifestations -- of my poverty, my illness, the pain I'm always in. They see the incredibly unflattering haircuts that have been inflicted on me since I arrived here, and the style-less clothes they unload on me because they wouldn't be caught dead wearing any of it, themselves. However, like my relatives, they don't see any of these things as manifestations or symptoms of my circumstances. Rather, they see me as <u>being</u> the illness, the pain, the poverty -- and the bad haircuts. It's <u>all</u> most here seem willing to see in me, too.

I <u>so</u> hate it when that happens...

It's like being among my relatives, really, what with the very public and constant personal attacks, the jumping to conclusions, the making of assumptions -- and the simply not seeing me at all, as often as not. But then, I'm still convinced that certain relatives have had a hand in my reception here, anyway.

In any case, I'm holding on and hanging tough, still. I don't know for how long, but so far, so good. Maybe while you guys are doing the "thinking of good thoughts" thing, you can send a couple of prayers out for me, too. Funny: I used to say to myself, "No matter what else happens, at least they can't take my music away from me. I'll always be able to play my music." How wrong I was about that, along with so many other things.

But enough of grousing. I do have a roof over my head for at least one more month. That's something, right? And way more than a lot of people in this world have. It's worth keeping that in mind.

So here's hoping that I'll catch a glimpse of a show or two! That, and here's also hoping that we all manage to muddle through these trying times, and in one piece, at that. Yikes!

Take care, all. <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/peace.gif" width=16 height=16>

Muffy, dear, I am unaware of your circumstance at present but it sounds as if you would do yourself a big favor to just get out of there if at all possible.

Good Luck to you

Muffy, I sent you email, please respond to me at W3WebDesign@aol.com

Terrie

Muffy, hold your head high, be proud of yourself and say nuts to anyone who wants to hold you down. I also don't know what your situation is, but I do know that you don't need to stay in a bad situation. Life's too short to be miserable.

Good luck with your situation. Hope ya get to make it to see Arlo when he comes your way. A show will life your spirits. Hang in there... <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/peace.gif" width=16 height=16>

Thanks for the good wishes. It's pretty simple, as situations go. I have no money, ergo, I have no friends in Woodstock. As is the case anywhere, the more money one has, the less money one needs. As we all know, however, when one has none, one must pay full price (or double) for every single crumb. That's especially true in Woodstock, where it's all exclusively about image, about what's on the surface, and about manipulation. If someone acted out of consideration or thoughtfulness, if anyone showed awareness or compassion towards me here, I think I'd go into cardiac arrest out of sheer shock. Hell: if someone here actually took the time to get to know me or treated me like a person, I'd likely faint out of sheer amazement. In fact, if I ever experienced anything here other than coldness, heartlessness, selfishness, and self-serving, I'd be speechless with astonishment. It ain't gonna happen, though. The one thing that can be counted on here is that the more someone tells you about their qualities and virtues, the more blatently they are lying -- to themselves as well, but lying, nevertheless.

No, of course I didn't get to see Arlo. That would involve money. I run out early in the month, being that I live exclusively on Social Security with no outside help (albeit that I'm mooched off of pretty endlessly -- mostly by people who have plenty).

My birthday has come and gone and -- Surprise! No one thought to do anything for me or give me any presents. Yet again! Gee. How amazing. Not. Hell, I don't even have groceries to get me through the rest of the month -- and there's not going to be a thing I can do about it.

Nathen, if I could find a way to get out of here, I would be gone so fast you wouldn't be able to see anything but dust. However, because I am vulnerable, and because I am sick (and therefore have to depend on the kindness of others), I'm a convenient and very available target. No one will be happy unless and until I'm destroyed. I won't be the first artist whose dreams and work have been taken from them, or whose lfe has been totally destroyed. There's a long list of Woodstock casualties, of which I'm but one more. That's just the way it's done here -- and after 20 years of this, I can say it with conviction, and the knowledge that I'm right. I know that I haven't hurt anyone, or done anything that would merit the treatment I've been subjected to -- but it's not much consolation when one is hungry, sick, and alone.

Muffy, I have traveled all over this country of ours and everywhere I have been to, there have been people who were kind, compassionate and went out of their way to help me. I know with all my heart that I could walk out the door today without anything and the kindess of strangers would be such that I would be okay.

Now, to be honest with you, I too have no money, but something always comes up, some act of kindness I have done gets repaid or as often as not, someone else'd act of kindness gets passed along to me.

For the last year I have supported myself by selling walking sticks and there just is'nt that big of a demand, I too know that winter is coming and I will need heating oil, I also know that there will be dew sells of sticks, but rest assured things will work out. Last winter I used less then 100 gallons of oil, amazing as it seems, that is less then a third of what many others used, but as I say, having faith and seeing the beauty that is within others will in turn bring miricles into you home as well.

There is beauty all around us, take time to enjoy your gifts and you will have little time left to see the injustices done to you.

I hope that you will give this a try and you will allow the sunshine into you heart.

You might want to try social services & see if you can get some help there. Our medical care is more than we can afford but we are able to get free medical from a local teaching hospital. You may want to look into that. You can also get help from social services (at least around here) for helping pay some of your heating oil bill & paying some of your electric bill. Around here if you're disabled you can get where you don't have to pay property tax on your home. Mikes cousins church has a bread ministry where they get this bread free from some guy & give it to those in need. They give us bread every other week & it has been a real help & blessing. You may want to look into all that & see iuf you can get any help like that. Good luck! <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/peace.gif" width=16 height=16>

Muffy,
Wow! I sure do hear lots of anger (probably some of it justified) coming through your posts. Nathen has some good advice for you. Generally you get what you expect from people, and it sounds like you don't expect anything but negativity. Believe me, I am not trying to trivialize your problems, which I'm sure are huge for you, but as Arlo says, the best cure for people with little problems, is to help someone with bigger ones. I don't know if you can get out, or just what you situation is, but just try not to pass on any of the negativeness you seem to be getting from people--smile at someone for starters, and see what happens next. You're in my prayers. <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/peace.gif" width=16 height=16>

Oh, I've been lots of places where I've found wonderful and compassionate people -- this board included, which is why I've so often returned here. I've also never been anywhere that seems to value and use cruelty quite so much as some of the people in Woodstock do.

No, you don't know me, or what my situation is. That much is very, very obvious by your responses. However, being patronizing and condescending isn't exactly the best way to cheer me up, in case you were wondering. I'll give you that much of a hint. (You don't mean to trivialize me or my problems, but you will anyway? Sure does sound like that's what you mean -- although I could, of course, be wrong.)

I'm on Social Security Disability, which means I've already gone through Social Services. Thanks, though.

In any event, while pat answers (no pun intended) are arguably better than no answer at all, it goes right to what I was saying -- everyone has advice by the barrel full, but no who wants to bother to get to know what the problem is (or who the person is) first? And incidentally, smiling at someone rather than laughing at them does indeed make for a better world. You might want to follow your own advice there.

And of course, if you ask anyone here, you'll probably hear, "Oh, don't listen to her." All the same, I'd rather people like Rick Danko and Richard Manuel, Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix were the ones whose lives were valued here. I'd much prefer that they were the ones who were still alive, instead of the people who are still around -- who continue to laugh about them, and quite literally brag about how they ripped those guys off and hurt them in every imaginable way.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by muffy:
No, you don't know me, or what my situation is. That much is very, very obvious by your responses. everyone has advice by the barrel full, but no who wants to bother to get to know what the problem is (or who the person is) first? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Muffy, I tried, in email, but you didn't want to talk about it... so, if you want anyone to know who you are or what the problem is, tell us!

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by BuffaloGal on Oct 02, 2002 ---</FONT></center>

muffy... obviously you're only interested in venting and hearing your own complaints echo off the walls... you trash Pat Rainey's comments and suggestions as patronizing, trivializing, and cry how nobody knows you or your problems??? With your attitude, why should/would anyone want to get near enough to you to ask (or care)???
Out of politeness and respect for a person's privacy and dignity, most people would NOT ask you such personal matters, without clear indication that you were interested in sharing, which you clearly are not... you just hate woodstock and the people who surround you, and that's all we're entitled to know. Of course, in my opinion, you'll hate anyplace you are, and probably alienate any people around you, just like you are doing here on this thread.
frankly my dear, i don't give a damn!

Muffy,
If you want to share more of your situation, I think we'd all be willing to listen. Arnie's right, we don't want to pry, unless you want to share, but if you're not willing to explain what you mean or what you need, there's not much we can do. You're still in my prayers, and I am NOT laughing at you in any way.
<img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/smile.gif" width=15 height=15>

I must agree with Arnie, From the information I have received, I must say that the problem appears to come from within, and this is based, not upon what others have said about you Muffy, but from your own words.I do hope you will take a moment and search within yourself for the answers, You are the only one who can decide to allow yourself to be happy.

Muffy,
I do care, as you know from e-mails. But I cannot understand your problems any more than Pat R. or BuffaloGal, because you didn't want to talk about them. You are in my prayers and I'm sending Blundervibes to you, too, but I don't know what else we can do but give our best advice based on our own experiences with hardship. And my best advice right now really started on another thread: join the BBC discussion on the book Illusions. It's powerful.
Ceashel

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Ceashel on Oct 02, 2002 ---</FONT></center>