Dad, I know that there's a zero chance that you'd ever sit at a computer, & if you did, there's a less than zero chance that you'd visit this site, but just in case, I'd like to take this time to answer the 4 questions you asked me the most as I was growing up:

1. Yes, I thought that you were made of money.

2. Yes, I thought that money grew on trees.

3. Yes, I thought that you owned the electric company.

4. No, I didn't know what the hell I was doing.