Thanks ya'll. We appreciate everyone's support.


I am praying all my Arlo, Tommy James & Monkees. stuff got saved. The contractors need to start fixing up the house so we call get it rented. We can't keep my furniture & other stuff as my folks don't have the room for it. So I'm having to auction it it off. And my cousin son-in-law whose a cop and some dudes he knows are helping box up the records of mine & Mikes so I can decide what to keep and what to sell. I had to sadly watch 23 yrs of my life go by to never be seen again. I can handle losing furniture & some knicknacks as long as it wasn't too special to me. But I had to go with my folks to take care of some stuff pertaining to Mikes passing (I can never call it death cuz I am still in shock & can't believe it & he still seems like he is in the other room watching ballgames or either it's all a bad nightmare). So that made me late getting to my house to label stuff as either, I keep it or it goes to relatives or it gets pitched either to either sell in the auction or get thrown out. Well cuz I didn't get to label stuff, the auction folks come & start grabbing stuff into boxes & I have no chance to see what went & didn't say what to keep or not. I saw a Tommy James cd get put in a box. My heart sank. I had grab it real quick & folks were like why was I taking that out of the box. I had to explain that it was a keeper. No one understood but me. I mean it was the new anthology type cd of his & one of the last things Mike got me before he died. He got it for me for Valentines day. A photo book of family members almost went into a box for sale or pitching out. I had to grab it. Something of Arlo Guthrie almost got pitched & I went no that's Arlo & had to grab it. Again they are like why am I taking out stuff to be sold. Hey they got there before I could label stuff I wanted to keep as keepers. A Starsky and Hutch video was about to be taken from me & I had to go explain I want to keep my Starsky and Hutch, Mod Squad, Chico and The Man and other old 50's/60's & 70's shows I have on vhs tapes & dvd's.

Later today I gotta go back & get my clothes, shoes, jewelry, purses, photo albums, school annuals etc. and my stuff of stars on the wall including my Arlo, Monkees, and Tommy James & the Shondells pictures and posters. I got my Arlo photo albums & scrapbooks but now I gotta go get my Monkees, and Tommy James & the Shondells scrapbooks pictures & posters. I grabbed a nice Monkees pic I had & someone said well that could sell. Yeah & I'd lose special memories since 1966 or so. Even tho I found it in a store yrs later. My mom was like pitch, and either sell or throw out. If it was up to her she'd have wanted to pitch everything. I'd be a nudist today lol. She means well but she was driving me nuts. Her cleaning lady was helping me with the clothes and she understood what I needed to keep some stuff. A cousin of mine who used to be a hippie in the 60's talked to my mom & explained to her about me wanting to keep my records and cd's etc. Only he and my dad and a friend of mine seemed to understand about me needing ti keep my records, tapes cd's dvd's and memorabilia. My jewelry armoire turned out to be too big to fit into my folks house so it had to go. Guess my jewelry will now go into drawers. A lady in our church said her daughter could take some of Mikes old clothes and make them into a quilt. I was gonna do that. Sadly no time to save them so I had to give some of them to a friend for her ex-hubby (He's a friend too. They are still in love & wanna re-marry. ) Walmart has on their website where you can get any pic made into a pillow. I need to do that with a pic of Mike.

I don't even know where my underwear are lol. They took out the bedroom furniture in the bedrooms & just dumped stuff on the floor. Guess I'll find it later today. I am very messy but I'd never dump stuff any old way in the middle of the floor lol. I had an acoustic guitar and an electric one & Mike had an acoustic guitar too. Since Mikes was in better condition than mine I kept his & let mine sadly go. I had to let my electric guitar go. No room for it at my folks. I did keep my other instruments like dulcimer, autoharp, canjos and bowed psaltery and maybe a harmonica & my old flute. My portable small keyboards had to go. No room for them & my folks have a piano and organ. And Mikes brothers are driving me and my mom crazy. Wish they'd lay off. Uh, oh, I think they pitched a letter from an old friend of mine. I had to look her address up on Zaba Search. Hope it is correct.

23 yrs of my life just went out the door. It sure flew by fast...

Oh Cheryl! I've been so buried in my own problems that I haven't been checking the forums often enough so I just found out today. My heart breaks for you. There are no words I can say that can make this better. Having to leave your home and give up so many things that hold precious memories on top of losing your mate sounds just soul wrenching. We get very attached to our guys no matter how hard we try to resist it. LOL, I really did try to resist. Then 10 years out, in a flash of reality you realize, "damn! I'm attached to him."

I wish I could have been there when they were packing up your stuff to protect you.

We all grieve in our own way. I can usually hang out in denial for quite some time, years even. Don't know if it's healthy but I can't help it and the fantasy works for me. I can't imagine how long it take to get over thinking you can hear him in the other room or expecting him to come around a corner. I don't know how long it takes before you no longer wake up and are fine for a nano second and then you remember.....I don't know how long this feels like a bad dream and not real, but it doesn't matter. Mike is part of you and you are part of him. When it's your turn to go home he will be waiting for you.

I know people say that the Lord will never give us more than we can bear but it doesn't always feel like it. As my husband and I get older, I dread the fear that he will go before I do. I imagine I will feel totally lost and alone even with family around. But we are never alone, Cheryl. God knows the number of the hairs on your head, keeps all your tears in a bottle and he knew your name before you were even born. If He knows when a sparrow falls you mean more to him than sparrow. I will pray and pray for the Lord's comfort to wrap around you and to fill your broken heart with peace.

Know this, Mike went ahead knowing he was and is loved. He wasn't alone, you were there for him. You did everything you could do. Everything else was out of your power. How many people are called home alone or have a long drawn out ordeal before going home. Mike never had to experience any of those things. He knew you were there for him. We should all be so blessed when our time comes. Well it's 4 am and I'd better get to bed.

Peace and Love,
Primula Brandybuck

Cheryl, I'm so sorry to hear about Mike! I don't get on the boards much, so I apologize that I'm so late. David and I have known you both for close to 20 years, so it's like losing a family member! Please let us know how things are going once you get resettled, and know we're thinking about you. Hang in there.

Libby (and David) Hagen

Thanks so much ya'll. It is really hard losing him. He was truly my soul mate. What you both said was so good. He will always live on in my heart. I could never imagine going thru this & yet I am...

Cheryl, I'm so sorry. I've not been checking in a lot lately and missed this thread earlier. My heart and thoughts are with you and yours.

Welcome back. Hope you're doing well. Thanks for the thoughts. We appreciate it. I've been so busy I am going nutty. Stuff I wanted to keep are in boxes & don't know what is what. I dunno if certain stuff I wanted saved got saved. At least I'm alive...

Cheryl,

I just learned via another thread of your recent loss.

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your sense of pain fades with time.

Treasure the 23 years you and Mike had together and cherish your sweet memories.

Doug

Thanks so much. I do treasure out 23 yrs together. But sadly it was not long enough. He was the love of my life...

Cheryl,

I'm a little late in on this as I don't check in here as often as I'd like... but consider prayers said for you and family! I'm not really good at this stuff but I do know the pain of the loss of a loved one and my heart goes out to you! Although we have only met on a few occasions, and I didn't know Mike as well, he did really seem to have a big heart, and it was always a pleasure seeing the both of you together. The one thing there was no mistaking was Mike was a very lucky guy to have you in his life. Your love for him has always been very apparent. I will definantly miss seeing him at the local shows.

May God shower you with love and comfort in this time of loss... I'm saving a big hug for ya for the next show we run into each other at.

OH, Cheryl, every so often I check in to see how you are doing. It sounds like the other day was truly the most nightmarish. I wish I could have been there to yell at them for you and let you have a few more minutes to do what you needed. Just try to hang on to the knowledge that you're not losing any memories when you lose some stuff. But I do hope you find your underwear
I hope you really feel the outpouring of love that's been sent to you on this thread.

Cheryl -

I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to say anything before this. I don't get on the boards very often, but today I decided to just check in to see what was going on, and this was the first thing I saw. And it just about broke my heart for you.

Though I haven't gone through quite what you're going through, I still have an idea of the upheaval your whole life is in right now. And on top of it, I can't imagine the loss you're still feeling. When you add in how much of what you had is being taken out of your control, I know this is all really hard on you. I'm so sorry how difficult and painful this all is for you right now.

It will get better. And you know God will be with you through it all. And evidently, Mike is working on being there too, huh? As much as all the memorabilia and cds and records and stuff mean to you, you do have something that you know means a lot more - you have all your memories of you and Mike and all the times you've spent together, doing all the things you loved. That will help get you through this too.

I really am so sorry for your loss though. Mike seemed like a really great guy the times we met at concerts, and the two of you did seem perfect for each other. But, at least you know he'll be waiting for you....

Come to think of it, it won't be much different than an Arlo concert, right? He's just up in heaven, now, waiting until you're done down here. He spent plenty of time after the Arlo concerts waiting for you - he knows how to do it.

Again, I'm sorry all you've been through and are still going through, and that Mike had to go so much sooner that anyone would have liked. And I'm sorry I didn't know until now to write and give my sympathy. I'll keep you in my prayers. Be well.

Thanks so much ya'll. I wish I could say this was some big April Fools joke but it's not. Seeing 4 Arlo shows for next Feb in the concerts & knowing Mike isn't here to go with me to them hurts. He was truly the love of my life. Thanks to everyone for their support, prayers & vibes & also to those who sent cards. He was my Arlo conert buddy & I miss him so much. I'll never believe this happened...

Thanks so much. He was my true soulmate...

I went to my house today & went thru the storage shed my folks got me for to put my stuff in. I didn't have the time to go thru it all too well as it was too cold here in VA so will have to do more later. What I noticed was my Arlo, Monkees, Tommy James cd's and cassettes and my cd of Freddie Prinze of Chico and the Man are missing. My Monkees dvd that a friend gave me for my birthday one yr, my Mod Squad dvd sets (Seasons 1 and 2 are out now and I have both of those), my dvd's of all 4 seasons of the Partridge Family, and my dvd of the first season of the 60's show Here Come The Brides seem to be missing. If they've been taken to the auctioneers to be auctioned, there is probably no way to get them back. If these are gone I'll just literally die. If I had to re-buy another copy of all of those, I don't know how I could ever afford to re-buy all of that. Mike did something he shouldn't have. He kept putting some of my Monkees, Tommy James and Arlo records in with his records of them. I told the folks taking out the records which row in the record closet was mine and warned them the Monkees, Tommy James & Arlo records some of them were mixed in between his so they could watch out for them & save them for me. But in all the confusion stuff could've been easily misplaced. The Mod Squad, Partridge Family and Here Come The Brides dvds are not only something I love and want to watch again and again but Mike bought them for me when they came out and they are special to me also cuz of that. I had a bag with some belts in it. Those were important to me cuz it's hard to find belts that are big enough to fit me & cheap. So when I find cute belts that are cheap & fit me, I go for it. I had them sitting on top of my jewelry armoire. When the auction folks came to get the armoire to get it for auction (It was too big to fit in my folks house in the guest room I am in now). They dumped the stuff that was in the armoire on the floor. I was able to save what was in the armoire I wanted. When the belts got dumped on the floor, I was having to go between 3 different rooms so whether they got saved or not I dunno. Trust me you do not want your husband to die on you...