Cindy, hang in there, you will find yourself.

After you kick the s*** out of the way and walk through the pain and feel it, you'll be a fully functioning you.

Cindy, your road is unimaginable but you're meeting it with your spectacular and strong self. Even if it doesn't always feel that way to you, it IS.

Cindy, you're certainly in the right place for not conforming. Let the people on this forum be your grief counseling group, Cindy. No judgments here. No time limits on your grief here either. Say what you want, when you want. Blundervibes continue your way.

Cindy, I'm kinda sure that Todd in his own way tried to prepare you for dealing with life without him. His advice and sharing of philosophy with you, (and us), should bring a smile to your face, and not a tear to your eye, when you think of stuff Todd would have said or did in situations that you will now face without his physical presense.You will never be without Todd.

Shit Larry is that tough love or just trying to scare the girl?


Ahhhh life is good, Larry was foolish enough to come into a topic that shares both Todd and my name, no more mister nice guy.

Larry were you sitting on the toilet when you posted? I mean really, what a load of bullshit, hell now I have even forgotten what it was you posted, but then you were not talking to me anyway, I just thought someone ought to jump on someone for something and a brain dead hockey player seemed like a good idea at the time.

Careful Cindy, I think Nathen might be channeling Todd! (or tryin to!)

Larry, You know, you..are right. Todd did counsel me on his death, starting back in 1987,All but daily sessions. So,do you see... it still is a shock..he actually died. It is the space he occupied, he commanded it. Now I am a bit lost without his guidance,though....it pissed me off. I am having a problem not having a problem does this make sense...everyday there was a 911 call...now the calls have died, with him, and I am still on the edge waiting for something, knowing-knowing and knowing it was a conditioning, breaking it, this is my challenge.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by lou-c:
I am having a problem not having a problem does this make sense...everyday there was a 911 call...now the calls have died, with him, and I am still on the edge waiting for something, knowing-knowing and knowing it was a conditioning, breaking it, this is my challenge.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
It will take time. That's part of the sleeplessness, I know. My situation was vastly different but there are similarities. It will get better.

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Ceashel on Nov 19, 2002 ---</FONT></center>

I have lost three wives (okay the bitchs all divorced me), but not in the same way, I can understand that even what pissed you off about someone can be missed, but now that I have my dog, I can't even remember what those things were. Damn dog is problem enough for this old man.

lol! THankyou . A dog?....Yes.
To all of you... I woke up this morning with a different feeling, one of peace. I don't know why, but I'm not going to fight it. I do know why... it's because of all of you......... my love

This is the wrong side of the day for me, it's too damn cold and I would not ask the damn dog to go out on a day like this, I would find him frozen to the nearest tree.

Love the lady says, well love right back at you.

I sure wish that Larry would come back in here and squeal like a pig again, there is something about a big hairy man squealing like a pig that just seems to fit this topic.

Cindy you are a woman standing tall, that is a good thing and no amount of Zen could improve upon it. A bear is a bear and a vixen is a female fox, be who you are and everything will be just fine.

Richard, be not dismayed by illusions, the vision may be clearer, but there is nothing you can do and nothing that needs to be done.

notes to myself, a collection of thoughts I had while standing beside the road....

Love is the first, last, and only law of the soul. Once man has learned to obey that law, not out of fear nor with hope of reward, but because it is the only law that can bring perfect happyness, then and only then will man have attained success in all of it's visible manifestations.....


Not every door must slam shut, some of those which remain closed the longest make not a sound as they are being closed..........


No one can ever step into the same river twice, nor is there any reason to.......


The past is over, let the dead bury the dead and allow all illusions to pass........

More from the side of the road.

Try not to hold unto the past, it crowds the present and leaves no room for the future....


Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality..........


The glory of a man is that he can and will sacrifice himself for the benifit of a stranger......................


In death you will not be asked, how loved you were but only how much love you gave.....

... thank you Nathen!