Message from New York's Kennedy airport:

An individual later discovered to be a school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, president Bush said, "If God had wanted
us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more
fingers and toes.

"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on
protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."

President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."

<img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/laugh.gif" width=15 height=15>

*L*

Did they make him take off his shoes?

Pam = <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/laugh.gif" width=15 height=15>
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Radical members of the feared Add Council group were arrested New Years Eve after plotting additional threats of math instruction which would have resulted in an aftermath unequaled involving nearly one million people who were chanting numbers in subtractive order last night as a spherical shaped object descended from One Times Square. Those arrested were sentenced to 3.14159 years in prism somewhere near the Great Divide. They will be served only a fraction of pi in addition to an x<FONT size="1">2</FONT s>+y<FONT size="1">3</FONT s> formula for their meals.