Miss Manners in her famous book, "Missed Your Manners, Mister?", and
her sensational sequel, "Mean Missy Missed Manners Means Messy Mores"
reminds us that tipping is usually at 15 to 18 percent.

However, if you tip an American cow the standard 15 to 18 percent,
they tend to take it personally and use their tips to resolve their
beef. The only place tipping 15 to 18 percent really works is in Pisa,
Italy, where they have gone so far as to have erected a monument to
cow tipping, the world-famous Leaning Cow of Pisa.

If you stiff a cow (and this is no bull - I'm milking it for all it's
worth), you're liable to become the object of its moooving ire and it
cud just toss you like a salad with the tips of its horns.

Besides, every aggie worth his weight in animal husbandry (well, in
the case of cows, animal wifery) will tell you that one should always
tip a cow 20 percent just to be sure!

I certainly hope this clears the matter up!

But, if you tip a cow more than 2o percent, won't it fall ALL the way over?

Nathen, thank you so much! I'm always anxious about whether I'm tipping the cow too much or too little. And yes, Pat, I know from experience if you tip her too much, she'll fall over and tumble down the hill, and then you get homogenized! And a mad cow. And we all know to avoid mad cows.

To his utter amazement ,I asked a bull this same question. He told me that it depends on the level of service you get from the cow, but since it was the bulls who serviced the cows, and they don't get tipped, he didn't really seem to care.

Cow Courted By Lovesick Moose Dies Of Old Age

POSTED: 1:50 p.m. EST March 26, 2003
UPDATED: 1:53 p.m. EST March 26, 2003

SHREWSBURY, Vt. -- A 23-year-old cow who once made national headlines after she was wooed by a moose has died of old age.

Jessica became the object of the moose's affection in October 1986, said her owner, Larry Carrara.

The moose, which Carrara named Josh, stayed for 76 days, fawning over Jessica, a brown and white Hereford.


Most of the time, Jessica demurely shrugged off many of Josh's advances. However, Jessica allowed some nuzzling and neck caresses.

Word of the odd romance spread quickly. Tourists, the curious and the media beat a path up narrow Northam Road in Shrewsbury to see the unlikely pair.

During the courtship, more than 75,000 people went to Carrara's farm to get a glimpse of the odd couple, and those who couldn't visit could hear a song called "Lovesick Moose" written about the pair.

On some days, hundreds of people would show up at Carrara's farm.

"They were big crowds, but it kind of managed itself," he said. "People were really considerate. We never had any problems."

News of the romance flashed worldwide, appearing on the pages of publications including People magazine and on television networks across the globe. CNN covered the story as did "Good Morning America."

The romance also inspired a book, "A Moose for Jessica," co-written by Pat A. Wakefield and Carrara.

The affair ended abruptly after 76 days when Josh disappeared into the woods. Wildlife biologists said the departure was apparently triggered by the loss of his antlers and subsequently his sexual urges.

Tourists in smaller numbers trekked up Northam Road over the years, to check up on Jessica, Carrara said. The cow resumed her life as a favored Carrara family pet on a hillside pasture with spectacular views of the Green Mountains east of Rutland.