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Has anyone checked the office to see if the editor of this cheap rag has died or is just breaking in a new intern?

The editor was last seen trying to get warm by standing next to Martha Stewart. May be spring before he's next heard from.

I think the editor's in Baghdad. He's doing an investigative piece. The Air Force has a more aerodynamic design for cr\rates of pop Tarts..editor'll send back excluuuusive photos.. I'll bet...
Hi Pam!

Given the current state of world affairs, maybe no gnus is good gnus. <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/smile.gif" width=15 height=15>

The Editor is doing research on any number of topics at this time. He is using all sorts of source research materials including but not limeted to: Tea leaves, The RBR, The Blunderite Dictionary,Saturday Night Live reruns and The Cheryl Harrell Library.
Thank you for your concern, and keep those subscription payments coming!
The Editor.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bumper:

I think the editor's in Baghdad. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The editor would never go to Baghdad 'cause they don't play hockey there ... and I don't think he'd trade in his tutu for a burnoose.

Hi back, Bumper. Glad to see you're enjoying Florida--and really happy you're finally back on the boards!

This just in:

Doctors at Mount Confusion hospital performed a brain scan on the editor and declared him brain dead, what's more it seems he has had this problem since 1966.

Not true. The Editor's brain is not dead, it's just hibernating due to the cold weather.
What did the proctologist say about your brain scan Nate? <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/biggrin.gif" width=15 height=15>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Larry:

Not true. The Editor's brain is not dead, it's just hibernating due to the cold weather.
What did the proctologist say about your brain scan Nate? <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/biggrin.gif" width=15 height=15><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Great Mews. Doc says the brain is working fine and he also found your nose ring which you thought was lost forever.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nathen:

Great Mews. Doc says the brain is working fine and he also found your nose ring which you thought was lost forever.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I knew where that nose ring was all the time! I put it on one of those gerbils I sent you. By the way, how are the gerbils?! <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/eek.gif" width=15 height=15>

Hey! As a dues paying member of the ASPCA I have to object to putting nose rings on gerbils.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Larry:

I knew where that nose ring was all the time! I put it on one of those gerbils I sent you. By the way, how are the gerbils?! <img src="http://www.arlo.net/ubb/smilies/eek.gif" width=15 height=15><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ahhh the gerbils are doing fine, at first they were a little afraid I might want to do to them some of the things you had done to them, and as I am so much larger, let us say, that they were indeed concerned, but once I explained to them that not all men found gerbils sexy, we got along great.

This message and the next message were all part of the same message until I had a Larry moment and everything went to hell.

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Nathen on Jan 22, 2003 ---</FONT></center>

odd this nose ring was sort of special, it reads "To Larry, my little man,love Linda" I wonder what that means?

<center><FONT COLOR="#000080">--- Edited 1 times, lastly by Nathen on Jan 22, 2003 ---</FONT></center>

By Earl McRae, Ottawa Sun
If there's one expression that Canada can claim as its own it's that one -- people going around asking, "Cold enough for ya?"
This is a very stupid expression.
Stupid as in what's the answer supposed to be -- "Uh, no, not yet, hah, hah, hah, can't wait for me to get a lot colder?"
Only a Canadian would ask this dumb question "Cold enough for ya?" Implicit in the question is that we Canadians love being cold, but we'd be happier if we were even colder than the cold we're feeling when asked "Cold enough for ya?"
The response of Canadians to this dumb question is as dumb as "Cold enough for ya?"
The dumb Canadian response is a goofy grin and a heartily-agreeing "Yap."
The proper response by any intelligent and sane person would be a ferocious scowl and a left hook to the lower mandible.
But, being that the Canadian winters, more so Ottawa winters, have a paranormal way of eliminating all intelligence and sanity from intelligent and sane people, we do not ferociously scowl and propel left hooks to lower mandibles as I, myself, did not after willing my frozen body into a convenience store yesterday and hearing the words uttered cheerfully by a clerk from a warm and distant homeland, but savvy with the Canadian lingo: "Ees haynuff kolt for yoo?"
"Yap," I said, smiling like an idiot, when what I should have said, post ferocious scowl, is: " Kolt? Did you say kolt? I'll give you kolt as in out kolt," and dropped him with the left hook to the lower mandible.
Look, I've got nothing against being Just Cold.
COLD SNAP?
I mean, c'mon, I am, after all, Canadian.
The coldest I've ever been in my life was five years ago when I made that winter trek across the God forsaken Yukon with the Dawson City Nuggets hockey team, and shiveringly awoke all through the nights in my stove-heated, wind-hammered tent to the sound of my clattering teeth and knees and with a layer of thick frost on the top of my head beneath my fleece toque.
Cold snaps? That's Canadian, too, and I've survived more than my share. But, please, don't call this %$#@ thing we're going through now a cold snap. Snap is what you do with your fingers. This ain't no little snappy-poo thing. Call it what it is: Cryonic suspension.
If I want to be cryonically suspended while still alive, I'd have asked for it, and I didn't ask for it.
You know, we sometimes go "Tsk, tsk, those poor Americans, I'd hate to live in the States with all their hurricanes and tornadoes and earthquakes," but to that I say put a sock in it, we've got a curse a whole lot worse. It's called Winter.
Now we're facing the prospect of a bus strike while this %$#@ thing is still going on, and you know what that means, eh? It means thousands of guys with mustaches and beards walking to work. And you know what thousands of beards and mustaches on guys walking to work will look like in this %$#@ thing, eh? They will look like they've just had thousands of noses blown into them, the most revolting sight of Canadian winters.
WINDCHILL
With this %$#@ thing going on now, I want to say to George Dubya Bush: "Hey, George, if it's those huge oil reserves that's really behind your intention to attack Iraq, go for it, baby, because, if you don't, and with world oil supplies dwindling, we Canadians will be the first to die in our frozen, unheated homes."
I'm listening on the radio yesterday and the weather guy says: "It's minus 20 degrees, but with the windchill it feels like minus 32 degrees."
Feels like minus 32 degrees? Not, maybe, minus 32.1 degrees?
Yeah, like we're all able to tell, right?
That old feeling ability.
"Cold enough for ya, "
"Yap. It's minus 60 degrees, but, hey, it feels like minus 68.7 degrees ... oops ... feels like minus 72.7 degrees now, no, sorry, minus 72.6 degrees, definitely minus 72.6 degrees ..."
Can't fool me.