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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:06 pm
  

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Senior ArloNetizen

Joined: Oct 04, 2005
Posts: 681
Location: Clintondale, NY
I been trying to think of what to say but no luck with words. I wish there was something I could do for you (((((((Fitzy)))))))) kurt & Trish


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 1:26 am
  

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BlunderVirgin

Joined: Mar 12, 2008
Posts: 19
Location: kims-world.net, State of Bliss :)
Like everyone else, it is so hard to put into words the feeling of loss here. Even though I hadn't seen Dennis in quite a few years, he was still a dear friend who would have had a wonderful great smile and hug the minute we ran into each other again.

And the impression he made can be seen by the names of blunderites seldom seen around here anymore, coming out of the woodwork to pay their respects.

i pray his family will have peace and be comforted through this time, as will all of us who love him.

And I hope he's off, shuffling around, grinning, and living in his own minute-to-minute way in a much better place than this now. And that he knows just how much he's missed here.
:cry:


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 1:36 am
  

Senior ArloNetizen

Joined: Jan 01, 2000
Posts: 134
Location: Istanbul, Turkey
From today's issue of one of the national papers in Turkey:
http://www.todayszaman.com/tz-web/detay ... &bolum=132

We have all had those moments -- the call that you know will herald bad news before you answer the phone, or the e-mail that causes your stomach to drop before you click it open.

For expats, living far away from their homelands, now matter how the news arrives to announce the passing of a family member or close friend, it can be especially hard. A journey home can take hours, sometimes days, and many times funerals and memorial services are missed. We often have to cope with our grief over a loss alone, and far from home and the comfort of others.

This week I received one of those messages. Half a world away, a cherished friend suffered a fatal heart attack, leaving behind stunned family and friends to pick up the pieces of their lives. Thanks to the Internet, people from around the world whose lives he had touched with his kindness reached out to each other in cyberspace to share memories of Dennis and celebrate a life well lived.

Earlier this month, as Kurban Bayramı began, an American friend, new to Turkey, found himself faced with attending the funeral of his father-in-law, who also had passed on unexpectedly. Not knowing correct protocol for a Muslim funeral, several expats explained the sequence of events and rites for him so that he would be able to follow along with the service and know what was expected, and when. For him, this was a new experience, and he was glad to know that the expat community was able to offer him advice since Muslim funerals, and associated traditions, are very different from the ones he knows from the United States.

Every religion has its own proscribed rituals for death, with acts and prayers that serve to comfort the living as much as assist the spirit of the deceased. For those who have not attended a Muslim funeral, it is a fairly straightforward affair. Especially when compared to the services of some other religions, it is over quickly. If possible, the body is buried within 24 hours of death. Before burial, however, the body is washed, perfumed and wrapped in a burial shroud. This final washing is done by same-sex members of the family, or the staff of the mosque. After the final ablutions are completed, the wrapped body is placed inside a plain wooden coffin, which is laid on a stone slab in the courtyard of the mosque, where the funeral service is conducted. The opening verse of the Quran, the Fatiha, is recited, and prayers are said to ask for God's mercy on the soul of the deceased as well as those present. Following the prayers is an important part of the service -- the discharge. The imam leading the service asks the congregation, "What was the deceased person like?" In unison they reply, "We found him (or her) to be a good person." The imam then asks, "Do you forgive them everything they have done?" Everyone present answers, "We forgive him (or her)." This is the act that I find most moving, as everyone present absolves the deceased of any misdeeds or hard feelings.

At the conclusion of the funeral service, the body is taken to the graveyard. The deceased is removed from the coffin and placed in the grave wrapped in the funeral shroud, with their head facing Mecca. Generally, family members and close friends attend the actual burial. Following the burial, family and friends will gather at the home of the deceased, or at the home of a close family member, to recite Quran and pray. This is a time for the community to come together to comfort the family for their loss and offer up prayers for the soul of the one who has passed on.

As my friend dealt with the sudden loss of his father-in-law in İstanbul and I mourned the passing of Dennis on a roadside in rural Massachusetts, I saw the commonality we all share in our losses, regardless of religion. For expats, this can be a difficult time, as they miss the warmth and companionship of those far away. However, the passing away of friends and family is a chance for us to pause and reflect on our own lives and actions.

Personally, I hope that I live my life in such a way that when the time comes for the imam to ask gathered friends and family what kind of person I was, that they will be able to whole-heartedly reply, "She was a good person." As my friends and I meet in cyberspace to console each other across the miles, we take comfort in knowing that Dennis will be remembered for his endless acts of kindness. His was a life well lived.


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:01 am
  

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BlunderVirgin

Joined: Dec 23, 2008
Posts: 3
My thoughts and prayers are with the whole crew... Peace and low stress,
mdmc


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:42 pm
  

Where does one begin to express a sadness that not only breaks your heart but rips your soul. How ironic that on the shortest day of the year a life so special was cut short to soon. Source of laughter, heart of joy, how can I thank yoy for all the times you turned my saddnes to joy. Friend-Brother--I shall neverforget your smile or the twinkle in your eye!
You will never be forgotten, you shall be forever in my heart, until the day that the God of our understanding chooses to reunite us once again and we can rejoice in our friendship forever.
My heart goes out to all who share this deep loss with me. You are all in my prayer.
All my love and heart felt sympathy to all,
Shiva Dasi
Mary Ann Cookbook Wueke


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:51 pm
  

ArloNetizen

Joined: Dec 23, 2008
Posts: 38
It was with IMMENSE sadness and disbelief that I read of Dennis's untimely passing. He was a simple, humble man with a huge, loving heart whose kindness shall never be forgotten! My sincere condolences go out to his immeadiate family as well as to all of us in the huge extended family.


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 10:44 pm
  

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Arlo Fanatic

Joined: Aug 25, 1999
Posts: 1885
Location: Wantagh, NY
http://www.berkshireeagle.com/ci_11294911

article in today's Berkshire Eagle


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 5:54 am
  

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Arlo Fanatic

Joined: Sep 13, 2000
Posts: 8523
Location: Pixley-- Actually An Hr South of Richmond, VA
I just saw that. Glad to see they tributed him in the local paper...


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 7:14 am
  

ArloNetizen

Joined: Dec 23, 2008
Posts: 38
Yes, the piece in the Berkshire Eagle was indeed very nice. Thanks for posting the link.


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 10:53 am
  

Dennis was my great-uncle. I wasn't that close with him but I was blessed with his presence this past summer at my wedding. Seeing how much he was loved through the comments left has brought a smile to my face. He was a genuinely kind person who always made you feel comfortable. I am so happy to see others saw his kindness as well.


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 11:23 am
  

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Arlo Fanatic

Joined: Nov 29, 2000
Posts: 1798
Location: El Mirage, AZ
Robyn, sorry about the loss of a great man. Congratulations on your marriage.


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 12:03 pm
  

BlunderVirgin

Joined: Dec 24, 2008
Posts: 2
Thank you Arlo for those kind words about Dennis. Dennis was my uncle and not too long ago I attended his wedding ceremony to Debbie. It was beautiful and as usual Dennis was his enjoyable self. Smiling all day long. Nothing ever bothered Dennis. He always had that grin on his face and he always had a kind word to say about everyone. I still can't believe he is gone. Although I didn't see Dennis all that often, whenever I did though, he always had a hug and a smile for me. My mom (Dennis' oldest sister) always said I looked like him, which I always took as a compliment. I loved Dennis very much and will miss him greatly.
Deb---I am so, so sorry for your loss. Dennis was a great guy. We all loved the way he always took care of grandma. He had a big heart, in a way, maybe it just got too big! Cherish the times and memories and he will always be there watching over you. We love you Deb and if you ever need anything, just call.
Love you, Pat Borla (Mary's daughter)


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Thu Dec 25, 2008 8:59 am
  

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Arlo Fanatic

Joined: Jun 09, 2004
Posts: 1931
Location: Brisbane OZ
Fitzy and family and Arlo and family and all the Blunderite family so sorry for the loss of this wonderful man. I never had the privilage to meet him, but he sounds like one of the good ones who leave us too soon.


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Thu Dec 25, 2008 10:29 am
  

ArloNetizen

Joined: Dec 23, 2008
Posts: 38
Here is a link to Dennis's obituary that ran in today's Hartford Courant; http://www.legacy.com/HartfordCourant/D ... =121821280.


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 Post subject: Re: Christmas 2008
PostPosted: Thu Dec 25, 2008 5:36 pm
  

Dear Debbie and family my heart goes out to you ..life is just to short
I loved my little brother .I am so greatful for the happness you brought
him .for the family he alway wanted .always remember you made his
life full. And brought him happiness.When the two of you got married
he was so happy even though it was too short.God has his own plans we dont know what they are ,Iam sure Dennis is looking down on you and will be watching out for you. Sooo sorry. for your loss We all love you as family
and stand with you. Dennie's sister judy


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